Meet Arun. A 22-year-old student who follows a lot of famous vloggers on U-tube and has started his page as a vlogger, showing his college life. Initially, he garnered 100 followers in a week and he felt very happy as people were engaging in his vlogs. However, as time went on, he saw his followers and engagement was not increasing as much as the others. Constant checking of his notifications and scrolling through various vlogs, he was soon engulfed. He started checking how many people liked it within minutes, who was commenting, and how many followers the other influencers had. He started feeling demotivated. 

                              In our modern, interconnected world, digital communication binds everything and everyone together. Social media serves as the conduit, erasing boundaries and facilitating limitless interaction. With no physical borders constraining us, we can effortlessly connect with individuals worldwide in mere seconds, irrespective of our physical location. But, there is a catch. Without borders, it sometimes becomes difficult to understand when one should stop.    

                Knowing when to stop and where to draw a line is very important and needed in this era of digital age. As therapist, Nedra Glover Tawwab said, “ Boundaries are the key to creating a healthy digital environment”, the need to establish boundaries is good not only for our well-being but also for maintaining and enjoying our social relationships. 

What are boundaries and why are they important? 

               Dr. Townsend defines boundaries as “the property lines that define who we are and who we are not, and influence all areas of our lives – physically, emotionally, and spiritually.”

Remember when we used to learn painting? We were instructed to sketch circles and shapes initially, then fill them with colours while staying within the lines, forming defined borders. Even though abstract art and colours have beauty in them, with this method, our pages would have been a more coherent blend of colours with structure. So how to limit our limitless digital space?

• Following the sweet trail– Have you ever observed how honey bees collect nectar from sweet and fresh-scented flowers? These flowers are the best source of nectar for them. Similarly, in the online world, we have the power to choose who we follow. We can choose to follow people who have a positive impact on our lives and unfollow those who make us feel low. We have control over our actions and feelings. Following pages and influencers who help us grow, motivate us, and make us happy can be enriching and refreshing in the vast field of social media. Even in our school and college days, we interacted with various people, not just one group or person. We interacted with those we vibed with the most.               

• Build a Social MQ– We are all familiar with IQ (intelligent quotient) and EQ (emotional quotient), which are like command centers for our cognitive and emotional activities. But have you ever thought about having a Social Meet Quotient? After spending time working and engaging with digital devices, why not set aside 20 minutes for social interaction? This could involve meeting with a friend, a relative, or a family member in person and having a conversation with them. According to a study by Forbes and Lamm in 2023, face-to-face interactions can reduce stress, improve mood, and promote calmness.  

• 2 easy 2 not see– Take a break from your phone for two minutes and do something else, like reading the first two lines of a new book or starting a journal. After two minutes, try it again for another two minutes. This technique, developed by David Allan, an author and a productivity consultant is not only helpful in improving productivity, but it can also be effective in breaking the habit of constantly checking your phone. It’s like hitting two birds with one stone! When Arun was constantly checking the notifications if he had used this method then he would have felt more relaxed.

• Swiping with the clouds– Although entertaining, scrolling down the pages of Instagram, YT shorts, and reels can sometimes leave us lost about what to do after. We sometimes find it difficult to focus on our next task. Why not try Swiping the clouds? 

                      Let us find a tranquil outdoor space (on our balcony, verandah, or even the roof) where we can lie down or sit to focus our attention on the ever-changing shapes of the clouds and their movements. We can then focus our breathing and engage our senses by noticing our surroundings and the sensations on the skin. And as the clouds fly by, we can allow our thoughts and emotions to come and go too. This is cloud gazing mindfulness, which will be a break from the same content and also help you to relax and feel fresh after a hectic day.  For Arun, this technique would have helped him to re-focus after scrolling through. This would have also helped him have more creative ideas and feel fresh. 

In this age, digital technology is an important part of our life. Although we are always surrounded by it, we can try and limit our usage of it. It may not be easy, but it is something we can all try.