What is loneliness?

Loneliness is a state of feeling unwanted and hollow from within, regardless of where one is. They often feel like drowning and being sucked into a dark hole. Most people assume loneliness is being alone, but it's not. One can choose to stay alone without much interaction or contact with others. But when one is lonely, they feel detached and aloof even in the company of friends and family. It becomes difficult to connect to someone on a deeper level. For instance, one can feel alienated within their social circle, lonely while hanging out with loved ones, or disconnected from work colleagues.

Types

Emotional Loneliness

This is the absence of close relationships and emotional connections in one's life. The individual may long form deep attachments and experience a lack of emotional support.

Social Loneliness

This is the distance and lack of belongingness one experiences in their social circle. One feel left out and disconnected even when surrounded by loved ones.

Situational Loneliness

It arises from specific life events or situations that can contribute to this feeling, such as moving into a new city, place of work, death, or divorce. Adjusting and getting a grip on the culture or not having loved ones can lead to loneliness.

Chronic Loneliness

It is when an individual has been feeling persistently lonely for a long time, and this has become a part of their nature and everyday living. This is not a momentary feeling but an ongoing sense of Loneliness.

Signs

Mind

MIND

Not feeling worthy or good enough
Constantly thinking that others are avoiding them
Overthinking
Concentration difficulties

Body

BODY

Intense sadness
Low self-esteem and confidence
Feeling distant and rejected by others
Feeling frustrated
Emotionally exhausted

Heart

HEART

Changes in appetite
Disturbed sleep patterns
Falling ill frequently
Headaches
Body aches
Fatigue

Action

ACTION

Crying bouts
Trouble interacting with others
Difficulty initiating conversations
Spending excessive time in isolation
Increased digital connections than real-life interactions
Avoiding social situations

Causes

Major life changes: includes going to a new place of work/college, moving to another city without family, losing a loved one, breaking up from a long-term relationship, getting a divorce, etc.

Psychological conditions: Loneliness can be a by-product of psychological issues such as depression and social anxiety disorder. In such cases, chances of social withdrawal and isolation increases.

Confidence: Low self-confidence can also be a cause of loneliness. Individuals find it challenging to interact, initiate conversation, and form meaningful relationships, making them feel distant from others.

Personality Traits: Individuals who are shy and introverted can find it difficult to form social connections, which can lead to loneliness.

Myths and Facts

How to help self?

Following are some of the ways that you can make use of to help yourself.

Exercise: Exercise is a useful tool to boost your mood. It helps to increase brain chemicals known as endorphins (feel-good hormones) that can pump in more energy and make you feel better. Taking a walk, going for a run, doing regular chores at home, or dancing to some music of your choice can do the trick, and help you feel better. Breaking up exercises into smaller chunks can also be handy. Little movements a day can be effective and help elevate your mood.

Get a new hobby: Give yourself the chance to do something new. Engaging your mind and body in any activity can make you feel less lonely. You can choose a thing that you have always wanted to try. Such as painting, learning a new language, etc. You need not be perfect in it, but enjoy the process of doing it.
Tip: Keep the activity small and doable within a realistic time frame. This will enable you to stick to it.

Use of Sounds: Sounds can push back the overwhelming feeling of loneliness. Here’s how-
1. Listening to lively music can lift your mood.
2. Watching your favourite shows can instil a sense of comfort.
3. Listening to a podcast can create a conversational vibe in the room.
4. Looking out of the window and hearing birds, or people passing by, can induce a sense of connection with the world outside.

Staying connected: It is important to stay connected to people who matter to you. This network can keep your mind active, remind you that you are not alone, and make you feel good about yourself. Face-to-face interaction is key, but you can always stay in touch through technology to maintain closeness.
Tip: There is a lot of power in a loved one’s voice. A 10-minute phone/video call regularly can make you feel less lonely. To make the most of the interactions, you can talk about things you relate to, like work, current affairs, mutual topics of interest, etc.

How to Help Others?

To support and reach out to your loved ones (friends or family members), you can take these small steps to show that you care and want to help.

Spending quality time: Planning simple activities like walking, watching a movie, or even having long conversations over calls or texts can lessen their loneliness. In case you fall short of words to communicate with your loved ones. You can use one of the following to start a conversation.

1. Lately, I have noticed that you have been ___________. Is there anything you want to talk about?
2. Would you like to share what is bothering you? Maybe I can help you.
3. Lately, you seem very down. Do you want to talk about it?

Try to keep them within social contact: When one feels lonely, they will likely avoid interacting within their social circle. They may avoid socialising and stay away from people or public places. It’s important to keep them in the loop. Try involving them in social events, but at the same time, don’t push too hard.

Support them in finding a new interest or hobby: Engage them in things they have always wanted to try, or something that excites them. Things like painting, learning a new language, etc. Help them incorporate these in their daily routine. This will enable them to stick to it, adding value to their life. You can also join them in these activities and spend some quality time together.

Staying connected: It’s important to stay in contact with people who matter to you. This network can keep their mind active, increase their sense of belonging, and make them feel good. Face-to-face interaction is key, but you can always stay in touch virtually. Calling and checking up on them, inviting or going out with them will reassure them that they are not alone. It will gently remind them that they aren’t forgotten and you are still there whenever they are ready to catch up.
Note: In times of emergency, when you feel overwhelmed with feelings of loneliness, it’s important to consult a psychiatrist or a professional. This will help bring the situation under control.

Listen and be patient: When one feels lonely, they often find it difficult to talk about their problems. At times you might want to know about their situation in detail or try to get immediate help. But the key is to have patience and offer them the space and time to talk at their own pace. Simply listening to them can be helpful for them to share, vent, and feel lighter. Be there for your loved ones and let them do the talking.